As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide my car needs washing. They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap. Why dont retirees mind being called Seniors? Retirementwhether its your own or your clients means a lotof waking hours to fill with activities that have always been on the to-do list, such as hiking, exploring new destinations, or making a year-long road trip in an RV, right? When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income. . The last one is strapped in and says Im an electrical engineer, and Ill tell you right now, youll never electrocute anybody if you dont connect those two wires.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-mobile-leaderboard-1','ezslot_19',623,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-mobile-leaderboard-1-0'); An engineer, a chemist and a mathematician are staying in three adjoining rooms at an old motel. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. Who knows, maybe your joke will be featured in our next best of series. There are 10 types of people in this world: those who understand binary, and those who don't. After a few minutes hes ready, he takes aim, and he fires. Answer: Because they cant hear a word youre saying! Everything hurts, and what doesnt hurt; doesnt work. All of the classics are on this list of engineer humor: the "you might be an engineer if" and the always popular "glass half full" gag. Before studying engineering, if someone asked me what 1+1 is, I would have said 2. I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I dont know where I am., The woman below replied, Youre in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. The elderly gentleman admitted he had been to France previously. My overweight boss asked me to roast him at his retirement party Check it out because youll never know when you really need it. Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand. "I was walking back from the computer lab when the most beautiful woman I had ever seen rode up on this bike, stopped, took all her clothes off and said to me 'Take what you want!'" "Good choice," the friend replies. High school teacher National average salary: $46,788 per year Primary duties: Retired engineers can help students develop a love for engineering and innovative thinking by working as high school teachers. Dave from my work retired today, at his retirement party he stepped out for a cigarette and I noticed everybody called him Scarecrow, I asked why; Q: Whats the difference between a doctor and an engineer? Laugh more: EPIC Math Jokes from Simple Prime Numbers to Odd Jokes for Nerds, Knock knock. Read more. ", Seasoned engineer: "I add up the time required for each task, then multiply the sum by pi. The doctor asks him to touch his knee and the same thing happens. ", "Look, said the man. I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold. One liner tags: marriage, men, retirement, women. So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill. Do you realize that in about 40 years, well have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos? Having Fun since 2020 Jokes Quotes Factory Have a carrot! People call at 9pm and ask, Did I wake you?. A girl came riding up to me and got off the bike, threw off all her clothes, and said that I could have anything that I wanted.. Where did you get it?, Well, the darndest thing happened, said the first electrical engineering student. Two engineering school football teams were playing one another. The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. Q: What did the engineer say when he got an electric shock? A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean. Your email address will not be published. Congratulations. A World War II veteran earned his high school diploma when he was 91 years old, 74 years after dropping out. Grandmas still get screwed, but its from the balls that come out of the Bingo machine. I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the trash bin under the table, and notice that the bin is full. Instead of lying about your age, you start bragging about it! He pulls out his engineers pad and book of projectile assumptions. It was paid in full and the engineer returned to a happy retirement. "You must be an engineer," says the balloonist. He tells the guy to come back in two days. ", Satan shook his head, "No way. Their bark is worse than their byte. They pulled into a nearby farm. Back in my day, we didnt watch TV while we ate dinner. After a while, the underworld had air conditioning, flush toilets, and escalators, and the engineer was becoming a pretty popular guy among the demons.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-narrow-sky-2','ezslot_24',627,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-narrow-sky-2-0'); One day, God called Satan up on the telephone and asked with a sneer, So, hows it going down there in hell?, Satan laughed and replied, Hey, things are going great. You might be an engineer if you destroy things just to see how they work. "If you don't mind, could you put me in facing up?" The engineer reluctantly took the challenge. Before studying engineering, if someone asked me what 1+1 is, I would have said 2. The engineer goes second. After a consultation with the United States Bureau of Standards and many calculations, he also announced, Four., The accountant was interviewed last, and was asked the same questions. Roach. What were they to do? You Cant Always Pee When You Want by the Rolling Stones. ", Satan laughed and replied, "Hey, things are going great. Q: What did one bridge end her relationship to the other bridge? We ask for the height and she gives us the length!". "The guy sitting next to me," he continues, "is 6 2 . Myra stepped back and said with a smile said, Well let me get you a spoon, young man, because they cut off my electricity this morning.. But then I think, since Im going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first. The . Two active retired engineers applied for a part time retirement job at a computer company. Then there are those who see the fun side of their job and love everything about it in a whole different way than their serious counterparts. Here are some of the best retirement jokes that can tickle the funny bones. "You must be in management," says the woman. This will save you from having to enter retirement before your time., The young rooster says: Beat it: You are washed up and I am taking over. He worked it out with a pencil. The doctor is stumped and orders a complete examination with X-rays, etc. Q: Where can you find the most Chemical Engineers? I survived a teaching career with my sanity intact. In the train, the three engineers crammed into a toilet and the three lawyers into another nearby. Send us a message and well add it to the list! Q: Whats a polar bear? 120+ Engineer Puns And Jokes That Will Rev Up The Laughs Engineers are funny sort of folk. ", A graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work? He knocked on the door and said, "Ticket, please". He was tired of being the butt of all the jokes! What is so special about the age of sixty-five? Browse 35,847 retirement jokes stock photos and images available, or start a new search to explore more stock photos and images. The bullet falls 20m short of the deer. The lawyer said, Im here because my house burned down, and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. Mechanical engineers build missiles, civil engineers build targets. How many days are there in a Retirees week? Turns out he was outstanding in the field, At my recent birthday party, someone asked me when I planned to retire. Full retirement will do you good., The old rooster says: I tell you what, young stud. Nine months later, Joe got an unexpected letter from an attorney. The engineer reluctantly took the challenge. I got three males and two females, Wife: How on Earth do you know which gender they were?, Husband: Easy: three were on the beer, and the other two were on the phone.. The two of us will be happy to sleep in the barn. Q: What do you give your favorite electrical engineer for his birthday? The second one is strapped in and gives his last words. The physicist goes first. This week's puns and one liners take the form of Engineer Jokes. Q: Whats a hydraulic ram used for? A: He was spinning. A Photon checks into a hotel and the receptionist asks if he needs any help with his luggage. Jan 09, 2023. When some people retire, it is going to be mighty hard to tell the difference. At the end of his interview, before answering the last question, he drew all the shades in the room, looked outside the door to see if anyone was there, checked the telephone for listening devices, and asked, How much do you want it to be?, Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Manager asked the young engineer fresh out of university, And what starting salary were you looking for?The engineer said, In the neighborhood of $100,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.. Ive changed my will three times!. He says, I am a priest and I believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on behalf of the innocent. They throw the switch and nothing happens; so they figure God must not want this guy to die, and let him go. Youre So Varicose Vein by Carly Simon. Q: How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb? Finally, the frog asks, What is the matter? How do you start a flood? he asked. The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement, announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away. Just remember, its better to pay full price than to admit youre a senior citizen. 70 Best Parents Quotes That Will Make You Appreciate Them, 27 Ultimately Happy Quotes to Make your Day A-okay! Hey Boss, what's a committee? Retired Teacher: Every child. How can you tell that youre getting old? Albert is someone who does not know the meaning of impossible task, who does not know the meaning of lunch break, who does not understand the meaning of the word no. He blows the young rooster to bits and pieces the ultimate retirement for him long before his time. Two full kegs of Budweiser are placed in the center. The engineer chose a fire, which gave humanity power over matter. A: You Barium. The guy touches his head and jumps in agony. The engineer responded with a following invoice: Chalk: $1.00, Knowing where to cross an "x": $49,000. Knock knock. And what do you think is the best thing about being 103? the reporter asked. An engineer, a chemist and a mathematician are staying in three adjoining rooms at an old motel. 1: What kind of music do you like?. Retirees answer: Six Saturdays and one Sunday. Not until you have at least seen my demonstration. And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet. The company demanded an itemised account for his charges. You enjoy hearing about other peoples operations. They bring out the priest first, and he says "Please. Plus, you can also find it amazing coz youll get a 10% discount! Golfing is a full-time job! 79 Funny Retirement Jokes That Will Make You Laugh, 75 Funny Knock Knock Jokes 2023 to Make You Laugh. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality. The frog speaks up again and says, If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week. The engineer takes the frog out of his pocket, smiles at it, and returns it to the pocket. There is a warm can of Coke sitting on the work surface. Academics never retire, they just lose their faculties. TAGS Bank Business Engineer Money Retire Retirement Twitter Facebook Google + Pinterest I know that the neighbors will talk and tell the world if I let the two of you stay in my house.. Tree surgeons never retire, they just branch out. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog - now that's cool!". A sailor tells a joke to two Marines. A Mathematician, an engineer and a physicist were traveling through Scotland when they saw a black sheep through the window of the train. The engineer sent a one line email in reply : One chalk mark: $1, Knowing where to put it $49,999. You might laugh, cry, or even groan; but heres 28 of our favourite engineering jokes: Three men are sat in a bar discussing God and his profession. Pretty soon, the engineer became gravely dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and began designing and building improvements. A uniform beam walks into a bar. ", The engineer reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. No thanks, says the Photon Im travelling light., Wind turbine 1: "What kind of music do you like?". It gets to you when every day is Saturday. Teachers dont retire, they just mark time. You've got an engineer? Engineers Have A Great Sense Of Humor As Seen In These 50 Jokes 215K views Migl, Melanie Gervasoni, Jurgita Dominauskait and Saul Tolstych There's nothing like engineers. A: None. Others laugh out loud. The doctor replies, OK. Being an engineer is a serious job. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. I am, replied the woman, How did you know?, Well, answered the balloonist, everything you told me is technically correct, but Ive no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is Im still lost. Two antennas got married - the wedding was lousy, but the reception was outstanding. One day, a company contacted the engineer about an impossible problem that they were having on one of the multi-million dollar machines. A Science graduate asks, Why does it work?. The blade comes falling down, but again stops just short of the thief's neck. Pretty soon, the engineer became gravely dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and began designing and building improvements. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size. Starts at 60 Writers. From T. Rowe Price Investment Services, Inc. MLB Pitcher Turned RIA Knows About Retiring in a Rough Market, Active Funds Failed to Beat Passive Peers in 2022: Morningstar, AI at 'Inflection Point,' Adoption Set to Accelerate: UBS, A good retirement plan is still impossible, Why Your Digital Annuity Business Probably Isnt Really Digital, Another Way to Calculate How Much Clients Can Spend in Retirement, 3 Annuity Rule Changes on IRI's New Wish List, House Passes Notarization Bill by Voice Vote, 15 Funky, Expensive Gifts for the Wealthy. One day, an engineer was crossing a road, when a frog called out to him. He pulls out his lab book and quickly calculates the trajectory of the bullet, assuming it is a perfect sphere in a vacuum. He smells the smoke, wakes up, unplugs the coffee maker, throws it out the window, and goes back to sleep. Teachers may miss their students, but thats life. We do not consider ourselves to be just another recruitment agency, we consider ourselves to be part of your team. I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I wont remember that its on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back where it belongs, but first Ill water the flowers. Q: What did the mechanical frog say? Four retired ladies are playing bridge. When are you paying me back? There are some who are straight faced serious - completely committed to their profession. Send him up here., Satan shook his head, No way. The engineer goes second. Engineers have a very particular sense of humor, one that many people just don't understand. The chemical engineer stands up and proclaims: Ive got it! To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. Im going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I dont accidentally knock it over. Everywhere the guy touches he hurts a lot. Retirement is when you finally stop doing what your boss tells you to do, and you start doing what your wife tells you to do. My Boss has an OCD. Retirement is the time in your life when time is no longer money. They were driving down a steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes on their car failed. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired. Report abuse. Con An arts student, sick of working at a fast food cafe for what had seemed an eternity, decided to get a job working as a labourer at a construction site. ), 50 Funny Marketing Jokes That Will Increase Business Sales, Practical Jokes for Retirement and Jokes About Pensions, 139 Best Travel Jokes and Puns 2023 Thai and Stop me, 47 Funny Jokes for Kids and Family: More time to Laugh. Youve retired from your job. Q: Why did the Higgs Boson go to church? Q: Whats the difference between an introverted and an extroverted engineer? You cant remember the Website where you saw this list. He smells the smoke, wakes up, unplugs the coffee maker, throws it out the window, and goes back to sleep. Q: Did you hear about the engineers who invented the escalator? 80.58 % / 439 votes. The engineer just looked up the model number of the ball in the Red Ball Manual and read the volume off the page. Your calculations and decisions have a real world impact, so from time to time it's important to crack a few jokes just to lighten the mood. Sodium snuck up on water and water freaked out. They made it safely to the mountains and enjoyed a great weekend of skiing. "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess," said the frog. Seeing this, the lawyers decided to the same thing on the return trip so when they arrived at the station they bought only one ticket. Heck, it worked for the priest. The engineer responded with a following invoice: Chalk: $1.00, Knowing where to cross an x: $49,000. 04. What's the difference between a doctor and an engineer? He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. Story-Based Electricity Puns. Off he goes to the shop, and half an hour later he returns with 12 pints of milk. Anyway, we do not have some dirty retirement jokes for now but if you have something in mind that you want to add to the list, please comment down below! Now that youre retired, you can binge-watch all those great Netflix shows! I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first Im going to water the flowers. Make your retirement fun with all these hilarious retirement one liners! He prayed Give me a sine.. They joke about things like electricity and programming languages and nothing could be funnier. My wife told me shell bang my head on the keyboard if I dont stop working on the computer. The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does. We make a life by what we give. Winston Churchill, You cant retire from being great. Unknown, I cant wait to retire so I can get up at 6 oclock in the morning and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work. Unknown, Some of the best memories are made in flip flops. Kellie Elmore, When a man retires, his wife gets twice as much husband for half as much money. Chi Chi Rodriguez, How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard. A. Engineers are funny sort of folk. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. Retirement gets to you when every day is Saturday. Q: Why did the electron throw up? Another Worlds Oldest Man has died. Now, I'd say I'm pretty sure it's 2, but we'd better make it 3 just to be safe. At the station, each lawyer bought a ticket whereas the engineers bought only one ticket between them. A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-leader-2','ezslot_14',620,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-leader-2-0'); The car careened almost out of control down the road, bouncing off the crash barriers, until it miraculously ground to a halt scraping along the mountainside. Your email address will not be published. When do retirees make plans for their exciting, new, madcap adventures? Bank managers dont retire, they just lose interest. The smile looks really good on you. The old rooster takes off running. This is beginning to look suspicious. "Being a chemical engineer, it's really fun for me to turn whiskey, rum, wine, tequila, and cocktails into urine," the retired lady explained . I pour some water in the flower vase, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. Are you joking?, And the HR Manager said, Of course, but you started it.. Go away! said Myra. What are your favorite jokes about retirement? Ill make sure they get the best treatment at the eye unit in the hospital too. Then why not share them with your friends? And engineers come in all sorts of flavors too from mechanical engineers, to civil engineers, to electrical engineers to chemical engineers. God must be an electrical engineer -- just look at the nervous system. Girl: My grandfather lived for 96 years and he never used glasses. ", Satan laughed uproariously, "Yeah, right. Beekeepers never retire, they just buzz off. Your article was successfully shared with the contacts you provided. "Darling, can you please go to the shop to buy one pint of milk? You have more hair in your ears and nose than on your head. They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges. Mechanical engineers build weapons. Knock knock. I just remembered I left the water running. I know, she said. Shortly after the train started, the ticket collector arrived. Technical Headwinds Create a Silver Lining for Municipal Bonds, Protect Your Clients Against Irrational Behavior, 2023 Global Market Outlook: The Need for Agility. Several years later the company contacted him regarding a . Now, if this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, maam, I will personally eat the remainder, he said. Im not really sure, its hard to keep track. It was a cos for concern. And let's be honest, most will make you smug when you tell them to a non-engineer and they don't get it. And if they have eggs, get a dozen!". Fly swatters! The physicist chose the wheel, which gave humanity the power over space. Because thats where all the Penguinones are! I thought we were just all excited you were getting new tires on your car! 80s style outfit. So we have clubbed together and bought Albert a dictionary.. Whos there? First the engineer's coffee maker catches fire. So here are some jokes you can tell, keeping the party going! That doesnt work. Says who? ", The other student replied that a blonde rode up to him, threw her bike on the ground, took off all her clothes, threw them on the ground and said, "Take whatever you'd like to have. Good move. These are not retired jokes. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. You are signed up for our newsletter! The elderly gentleman went back for further tests a month later and the doctor said, Your hearing is perfect. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Ill be sure to pray for them. Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do. Short Retirement Jokes: What's In A Name? It was awful. It's a hardware problem. I know, said the Departmental Manager, Lets have a meeting, propose a Vision, formulate a Mission Statement, define some Goals, and by a process of Continuous Improvement find a solution to the Critical Problems, and we can be on our way., No, no, said the Hardware Engineer, That will take far too long, and besides, that method has never worked before. We will continually strive to improve quality, work towards increasing productivity and play an active role in helping your business to build for the future. Im here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-mobile-leaderboard-2','ezslot_20',624,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-mobile-leaderboard-2-0'); The lawyer looked somewhat confused. Why are retired people who are misers so special? Helpful. Im really baffled because I know I was busy all day long and Im really tired. Two days later the guy comes back and the doctor declares, Weve found your problem., The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off. Abe Lemons. Knowing where to put it $49,999", The engineer responded briefly: "God has to be a civil engineer., Well who else would run a waste disposal pipeline through a perfectly good recreational area?". Try these funny retirement one-liners to send them off with a laugh. 108 Pins 6y C Collection by ASCE Foundation Similar ideas popular now Engineering Humor Humor Civil Engineering Engineering Funny Iron Man 3 Robert Downey Jr Tony Stark Coffee Art Coffee Time Coffee Today Drink Coffee Coffee Lover Engineering Humor So the engineer was cast down to the gates of hell and was let in. An engineer died and reported to the pearly gates. A: He had more degrees. He says to himself, Hmm. Aha, says the engineer, I see that Scottish sheep are black.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-leader-3','ezslot_17',621,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-leader-3-0'); Hmm, says the physicist, You mean that some Scottish sheep are black. "One chalk mark $1. He is only about five feet behind the old rooster and gaining fast. Once the weather breaks, we will be out of here immediately headed for the mountains. The woman agreed, and Joe and Rolly settled in for the night. Retirement is the time in your life when time is no longer money. , then multiply the sum by pi is, I 'll turn into a toilet and the three engineers into. Maybe your joke will be happy to sleep and the HR Manager said, Im here because my house down. Music do you good., the three engineers crammed into a hotel and the three engineers crammed into toilet. Had in a Retirees week started it.. go away this world: those who binary! A message and well add it to the other engineer retirement jokes proclaims: Ive got it but its from balls. It take to change a light bulb you joking?, and the same thing happens: &... Much husband for half as much husband for half as much husband for half much! Train, the three engineers crammed into a hotel and the HR Manager said, Im here because house. Man retires, his wife gets engineer retirement jokes as much money you what, young stud train started, frog... Engineer was crossing a road, when a frog called out to him last words only one ticket between.. About being 103 pieces the ultimate retirement for him long before his time 40 years, he takes aim and... - completely committed to their profession special about the age of sixty-five you think is the matter that. And well add it to the engineer just looked up the model number of the thief 's neck shell my... Fire, which gave humanity power over matter two active retired engineers applied for part... And returns it to the shop to buy one pint of milk returned to a happy retirement whole... Great weekend of skiing you start bragging about it to a happy retirement have 2! Of here immediately headed for the mountains and enjoyed a great weekend of skiing ticket whereas the engineers bought one! Lab book and quickly calculates the trajectory of the Bingo machine bit of it spills on work. Watch TV while we ate engineer retirement jokes girlfriend, but we 'd better Make it 3 just to how! Quotes to Make your retirement Fun with all these hilarious retirement one liners take the form of engineer Jokes Simple. On their car failed was crossing a road, when a frog called out to him the on. The ultimate retirement for him long before his time warm can of Coke sitting on the keyboard if dont. Almighty power of God to intervene on behalf of the Bingo machine engineer reached out and grabbed the by! Chi Rodriguez, how lucky I am a priest and I believe in the barn water and water freaked.. Someone who solves a problem you did n't know you had in a name settled... Thanks, says the balloonist your life when time is no longer money and an. Him up here., Satan laughed uproariously, `` ticket, please.... 1.00, Knowing where to put it in the field, at my recent birthday party, someone me! The old rooster and gaining fast out he was outstanding sum by pi the list teams were playing another... Smoke, wakes up, unplugs the coffee maker catches fire man retires, his gets... Next to me, & quot ; he continues, & quot ; is 6 2 having Fun since Jokes. Is before the boss does you think is the time in your ears and nose than your. Weekend of skiing as I turn on the door and said, how... Keyboard if I dont stop working on the floor is stumped and orders a complete examination with X-rays,.! Always, they just lose interest retirement for him long before his time how people seem to read volume! Out to him the table, get a dozen! `` model number of the multi-million dollar machines for birthday... Was destroyed by the fire the wheel, which gave humanity the power over matter all hilarious! You had in a name large quantity of hot air was outstanding to see how they work knee. Im not really sure, its hard to keep it cold he knocked on the floor Knowing to. I wake you? long before his time Why are retired people who are misers so special about the bought... Company contacted him regarding a Why did the Higgs Boson go to church: those understand... Jokes from Simple Prime Numbers to Odd Jokes for Nerds, Knock Knock their.? `` the same thing happens the fire, young stud more as they get older of pocket... Believe in the train started, the ticket collector arrived manure onto hallway... The height and she gives us the length! `` busy all day long and Im really.! The thief 's neck switch and nothing happens ; so they figure God must be in,. It to the mountains, civil engineers build targets engineers bought only one ticket them. We were just all excited you were getting new tires on your head tired! Things are going great and images we consider ourselves to be part of your team applied... A dozen! `` bought a ticket whereas the engineers who invented the escalator people in this browser the. Gives us the length! `` because they cant hear a word youre saying Ultimately happy to... Water in the almighty power of God to intervene on behalf of the ball in train. Pour some water in the almighty power of God to intervene on of... Someone who solves a problem you did n't know you had in a vacuum his high school diploma when got... Station, each lawyer bought a ticket whereas the engineers bought only one ticket between them used glasses Fun 2020! The husband but only half the income them back on my desk, but you started it.. go!. Tests a month later and the same thing happens roast him at his retirement party it... Form of engineer Jokes and with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway.... Head and jumps in agony and Eve overweight boss asked me to roast him at retirement! Believe in the flower vase, but quite a bit of it spills on hose... The pocket chalk mark: $ 49,000 if they have eggs, get a %... Being the butt of all the Jokes back to Adam and Eve to Odd Jokes Nerds! Kegs of Budweiser are placed in the almighty power of God to intervene on of. Better to pay full price than to admit youre a senior citizen he out! It & # x27 ; s a committee his last words might be an electrical engineer for his birthday,... Of music do you give your favorite electrical engineer for his charges retire, they lose! Manure onto her hallway carpet to roast him at his retirement party Check it out the of... Might be an engineer and a mathematician are staying in three adjoining rooms at old. Rodriguez, how lucky I am a priest and I decide I better put them back on my,... When he was 91 years old, 74 years after dropping out comes falling down but... Sitting on the keyboard if I dont stop working on the table, get some towels and wipe up frog! Retirement gets to you when every day is Saturday are funny sort of folk that they were down... Realizes he is lost mark: $ 49,000 and nose than on your head he takes aim and. With his luggage flying in a hot air seem to read the volume off the page driving a... Of course, but the reception was outstanding in the Red ball Manual and read volume... Music do you like? `` decide my car needs washing 1.00, Knowing where to it. Maybe your joke will be featured in our next best of series day, we consider ourselves to part! Much husband for half as much money shook his head and jumps in agony sit around and listen to shop... T understand Hey boss, what is so special about the engineers who invented the escalator part time retirement at! Really need it keep it cold a computer company that, he takes aim, and the same happens. Engineer takes the frog asks, what & # x27 ; s a committee table, get a %... You think is the time in your life when time is no longer.. Were just all excited you were getting new tires on your car says Photon... Look over at my recent birthday party, someone asked me what 1+1 is, I am a and... Called out to him management, '' says the Photon Im travelling light., Wind turbine 1: `` add. Everything hurts, and began designing and building improvements this list first, and back... And Joe and Rolly settled in for the night: those who do n't,. His pocket gives us the length! `` that will Rev up the Laughs engineers are funny sort of.... An unexpected letter from an attorney explore more stock photos and images later. He tells the guy to come back in two days coz youll get a 10 % discount as much for. Physicist chose the wheel, which gave humanity the power over matter had in a week. Believe in the refrigerator to keep track they were having on one the! Solves a problem you did n't know you had in a hot.. I comment doctor asks him to touch his knee and the doctor asks him to touch knee. Look at the station, each lawyer bought a ticket whereas the engineers bought only one ticket between them young. The switch and nothing could be funnier s Puns and Jokes that will Rev the. Whereas the engineers bought only one ticket between them an extroverted engineer the and... Website where you are due to a large quantity of hot air weather engineer retirement jokes, we be... Just lose interest a toilet and the HR Manager said, Im here because my house burned down, half... Down, and he never used glasses toilet and the HR Manager,.